Micro weddings: a personal insight
In 2020, I was not only a wedding planner trying to adapt to each curveball that Covid-19 threw at us as an industry, but I was also a bride to be come December of that year. I really can appreciate every ounce of anxiety, stress and upset that all the uncertainty caused. It’s not the journey you envisaged, it’s not your fairytale build up and it’s quite simply, not fair. However, as the months went on and the size of the battle became obvious, I personally felt a shift in perspective and a relief to release control, accept our position and embrace the form our wedding could take.
This is not a campaign to follow in similar footsteps but I feel compelled to share the joy I found, both personally and professionally (having also helped 3 lovely clients have their own micro weddings), in the hope that it may reassure couples with weddings in the months ahead, who are continuing to be affected at a time when we all thought this would be long gone, that whatever shape your day takes it will be truly special.
I must admit the lead up was still a challenge emotionally, as no one could predict the government's next step or restriction but it was a worry we had to try and let go. Instead we focused on a realistic plan with 15 guests, and quietly considered our options if that couldn’t happen. We worked closely with our suppliers to keep them up to date (including the wedding dress designer!) and each one of them was so flexible and understanding, moving and accommodating last minute appointments and requests to help make it work. So yes, there were still challenges but it felt exciting to be working towards something again!
As for the day itself, it was incredible. You still get those precious moments that take place whether you have 15 or 150 guests: the rush of excitement when you wake up, getting ready with your bridesmaids, the car journey and walking down the aisle with your father, your new HUSBAND. There were also welcomed advantages of a smaller crowd. We got to speak with everyone at length without feeling like we’d neglected anyone. We upgraded our menu, wine and Champagne. We had the most beautiful table layup and didn’t hold back on flowers. And whilst we lacked in guest numbers, it was made up for by the insurmountable outpouring of love and excitement, from absent family and friends and from our small but mighty guest list. There was an overwhelming sense of elation that we’d made it.
We look back on the day and honestly do not feel like we were short changed. It sounds a silly statement, seeing as we’d changed plans numerous times and it was so different to what we’d pictured at the start of the year, but now is a different time to then and we chose to accept that. On announcing the final plan to our original guest list, a great friend wrote back with these wise words: I’m sure that right now it is a huge disappointment but I’m equally sure that you will have a fantastic and memorable day in whatever form it takes. After all, you will always have your friends and there will be great parties in the future, but this day is really about you two and the lifelong commitment you are making to each other.
There is no wrong or right answer in how to deal with any of this. I completely respect the postponements, no-one should have to compromise on their dream plans. We too hope that we can one day share our celebrations with everyone retrospectively (and let’s be honest, a party will be needed come that point!). But for now, and for those wondering how to move forwards with your own wedding, I hope this helps. We know we were incredibly lucky that guidelines were on our side, and it’s heartbreaking that there’s an indefinite restriction on marriages right now, but they will come back. So please try to stay positive, plan realistically and know that ultimately, love wins.
